Looking at social media today, I see a lot of kudos for J. Lo and Shakira for looking so AWESOME at 43 and 50, and for their energetic, sexy, and powerful performance at the Superbowl halftime show last night. I see posts about needing to go to the gym. I saw a post about “what am I doing wrong? Why don’t I look like that at 30 and J. Lo is fucking 50!!’
I ALSO see an equal amount of judgment and negativity about them being too sexy, and that the show was too risqué.
I am a 50-year-old woman, and I applaud them for all of the HARD WORK and dedication to their craft, and for getting to be up on that stage in the first place. It’s HARD, and not just the show. The rehearsals, the costume fittings, the meetings, all of it. Hard work. Tireless pursuit of their goals. Have you seen the videos of Jlo training to do the pole work in Hustlers? DAMN, I’d be showing that off any chance I get if I was her. She’s proud of herself, and that is a good thing! Don’t like it? Too risqué? Change the channel and watch the puppy bowl or something you find more acceptable and “wholesome”. I loved it. (I also love puppies.)
They are doing what they love and have different goals than you and I do. They live in a different world than you and I do. If you to be where they are, do it. But never judge them for doing what they’re doing. No one is forcing them to.
My earlier life was filled with hard work, dancing, and staying in shape for my craft, and I just don’t have those goals anymore. There were sacrifices that I was willing to make then, and my focus and goals are just different now.
I danced for Disney for 20 years, and it was hard work. I left Disney and went on to do a show in Greece (by way of Las Vegas) where I wore a thong, and danced very provocatively at a casino, and I felt strong, sexy, and powerful up there. Some people probably thought it was slutty or scandalous, but I didn’t feel that way at all, just like JLo probably didn’t feel slutty up there last night. I saw a woman up there who felt good as hell and was bringin her A game.
Her kids may cringe when she shakes her moneymaker, but they are probably proud of their mom, too.
I could have kept going in the entertainment industry, and if I would have wanted it, I could very well do what both of those women are doing, or at least be up there next to them.
Somewhere I lost that drive, I lost that ambition, and they kept going. And THAT IS OKAY. I am not envious of their life. I am not inspired to have that level of success as an entertainer. I am fully capable of getting my ass to the gym or dance class and some days. I do. But somedays I am content to write, learn, and grow in my current field, which I am incredibly passionate about.
I left an unhappy marriage, and am madly in love, am chasing my own goals, and am growing a business I am very proud of, and it’s one I hope will help a lot of people.
Everyone is different.
Everyone has different dreams, desires, and needs.
Everyone has different ideas on what is appropriate.
Everyone has different beliefs.
People tell me I look great for my age. I do. I am not looking like JLo, but I have great skin because it’s a priority for me. I work hard daily to become a better coach, a better friend, a better writer, a better Amy. My personal goals are to learn everything I can about coaching, writing, positive psychology, and helping people. I could totally work harder on my diet, my fitness, and my physical strength, but not because I see Jlo up there at my same age looking like she does.
Where are you now? Where do you want to be?
Do you want 6 pack abs? Get em!
I laid in bed until 9 today. I could have gotten up and gone to the gym at 5, but I didn’t. If I want a killer bod, I will have to change that. I can stop eating anything unhealthy, and only eat what fuels my body. I totally can. But I enjoy eating carbs. I like bacon. If that changes, and I want a rock-hard bod, I’ll have to make some changes. It’s just not my focus right now.
If you want something badly enough, you will find a way to make that shit happen. But do it for YOU.
It was a great show last night. A spectacle. A lot of work went into that shit. Not just by them, but by all of their extremely talented backup dancers, show technicians, costume designers, choreographers, and all of the people who make it all work. They have goals too, those people behind the scenes. They are the best of the best.
There are people who are equally as talented, but never aspire to do a production like that.
There are moms who work out to keep up with their kids and feel confident and strong.
There are women and men all over the world waking up early and getting shit done towards their own goals. There are doctors, nurses, caretakers, construction workers, and chefs working towards their goals. Some goals are like yours. Some aren’t as big, and some are bigger.
The point is: have goals.
Be proud of what you are doing. Do it the best you can. If you want more, go for it, ask for help and inspiration and accountability.
You don’t have to have a staff of 20 to look like JLo. You just have to want it bad enough. Seriously. Don’t judge yourself for not being Jlo.
Don’t judge JLo for being Jlo, Shakira for being Shakira, and don’t judge me for being me.
Unhappy people put other people down to make themselves feel better.
What’s the cure for that? Ask yourself why it bothers you. If you are lacking confidence, discover where those feelings are coming from. Find gratitude for what you have. Work towards what you want. And watch the replay of the Puppy Bowl, it is hella cute.